Published in GARGOUILLE Issue 5 Summer 2016
‘It is Asian not African,’ Gerald said. ‘You can tell by the small, rounded ears. African elephants’ ears are large, sharped like their continent.
‘Does it really matter?’ Mike asked.
‘It certainly matters to the animal.’
‘Maybe we should ask for one each to compare. Come on, it’s not like they’re even real.’
‘Figurative existence can be just as real to some,’ said Gerald as he sat down and opened his rifle and added cartridges, then closed it with a reassuring ‘click’. ‘Like us for example.’
Gerald raised his rifle and pointed it at the large, grey shape in the room.
The pork was dry. Hannah could handle it in almost any other meat. She had learned to accept desert-dried beef, fish and chicken, but she just couldn’t swallow it with pork. Hannah put her fork down, and didn’t look at Neal as she knew he would take her refusal as a personal criticism, like he took her sighs as criticism, and her choosing to wear a red shirt yesterday. She would have been fine with him ordering pizza.
‘Should I sweep up the mess around them?’ Mike asked, as they observed the couple. He was trying to perform his job as efficiently as possible. Maybe one day he’d get to handle the gun.
Gerald studied the pieces on the floor ‘Best to wait and do it all together. Hope you weren’t looking for an omelette, seems they’ve trodden on every shell.’
‘There’s dessert,’ Neal’s voice struck the brittle silence, which fell in shards around the table. ‘I made strudel, I know you like it.’ Hannah looked up. A small light flickered.
Mike groaned. ‘Can’t these people decide? All done or reconciliation? It’s not like they’re the ones who have to clean up,’ reaching for his brush and pan to sweep up the fragments of the eggs and broken hush.
‘In a way they do, after this sort of betrayal. You know that.’
‘Yeah but they don’t have to get sweeping or scrubbing unless one of them has set fire to the other’s clothes or something, like last week.’
‘Metaphoric destruction can be just as, if not more, devastating. That’s Cleaning 101 Mike. It’s the reason we’re here.’
‘So are you going to shoot the damn thing or not?’
They both looked at the creature taking up most of the apartment, its eyes riveted on the couple, its trunk swaying.
‘Still waiting on confirmation. It could be a false alarm.’
‘Jesus. It could be days, weeks even.’
Gerald placed the rifle against the wall, ‘No. I think if this stays bottled up much longer it won’t just be allegorical destruction that’ll have to be dealt with.’
Neal made coffee on the machine they’d brought back from Florence.
He carried over two imitation Royal Dalton mugs, - Aunty Di’s wedding present -and placed one in front of Hannah. Who would take them if we split up, Hannah wondered? Or the coffee machine, the couch, the electronics? Looking around Hannah realised there was almost nothing that hadn’t become joint tenancy.
Marriage counselling would be less stressful she mused. Oh God. Who would stay in the flat? It’s his fault... Hannah stopped herself. That wouldn’t be a good argument to get him to leave quietly. Did she even want him to go? So many unanswered questions spinning around.
Mike took out a long handled butterfly net, and began swinging it in the air catching them. Once he got the mesh caught on the hook of a question mark.
It got dark. Neal had been studying the crack in the corner for quite a while. Then he got up, pulled the chair over and sat down opposite her. Hannah sighed, put down her book and took off her glasses. She steadied herself. It was finally time.
She wished someone could wake her up when it was all over.
Gerald raised his rifle and fired. Mike found himself turning away before the great animal fell.
Hours later they came back with the truck to deal with the remnants. The couple were gone. They were done with platitudes and euphemisms,. The carcass of the noble beast was attached to the pick-up’s crane and dragged away.
There had not been even a hint of violence. He’d been too long at this job. Gerald felt a little sheepish, but luckily none appeared.
All the metaphors and assorted items were collected, filed and stored. ‘Good job Mike.’
He breathed deeply before turning his head to look at the now dark sky. ‘I do wish the people knew that nothing goes to waste. It would be comforting if they were aware of all that leaving of invisible traces in the universe, don’t you think?’
Mike shrugged. ‘I’ve never really considered it. I guess I thought we were just designed to shovel their shit,’ but he stared at his shoes as he said it.
Gerald didn’t answer. He doubted his apprentice’s flippancy. He had seen Mike’s face as the elephant had finally left the room.